My boyfriend works your typical 7 - 5pm job doing hard labour comapred to my wonky university schedule. ” Dr. Leslie says. Lately, when he's going to come home late, he tells you not to wait for him. Server responsed at: 12/24/2020 8:15 p.m. 2 He’s unclear from the beginning about what he wants, 4 He’s not as excited when you come on strong, 6 You have that gut feeling something is off, 8 He’s late or blows you off too many times, 9 He isn’t interested your family or friends, 10 He’s totally against any public displays of affection, 11 He doesn’t use the word “we” when describing things, 12 He’s not initiating plans most of the time. To spare you the torturous game of is he or isn’t he, these are the definitive signs that your guy is losing interest: 1. As mentioned, this is the biggest sign that something suspicious is going on with him other than real life hangups. Either way, don’t jump to conclusions. 3. Have a simple, honest, and open conversation about how you feel. He says something along the lines of, "I am still getting over my ex." If he was ready to be serious, this inconsistent behavior wouldn’t occur. If your man suddenly stays at work late or leaves on suspiciously long business trips, that could be a sign he’s having an affair. He has more work responsibilities. I usually don’t sleep til a bit later too so when i text him goodnight and he doesn’t reply, i know he’s fallen asleep, eve That's definitely something that you should keep an eye on. While texting is the new norm for a lot of means of communication, in a relationship, talking is imperative. What is his excuse this time? I feel like less of a priority. They will say they are on time for work, or never miss flights but if you look deeper you will see that they are in fact late … This is a big red flag that he is not serious at all. I’ve been really busy. She told me that she kept her phone in her bag on these nights out and told me not to expect any replies if I tried to message or call her. Don't tell him just show up, either your gut is right or your imagination is working overtime. He asked if he could work, and he said yes. While we are all busy and may have a lot going on, there’s no reason why we cannot make time for dating someone we really like. You shouldn't have to tell him to call you! It's natural to feel like less of a priority in these situations, but you're a lucky girl. Sometimes, when people say this, it's just because they're scared of being vulnerable with someone new again. 14. I know you're pretty busy at work, I just want to say hi and I hope you get through this day with a smile on your face. But if you can't feel his love or your gut tells you there's something wrong, then you should give your relationship a second thought. He makes excuses. He’s not as excited when you come on strong. When your relationship starts to develop a comfortable routine, chances are he'll call you and say, "Hi, it's me." Image courtesy of Stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net. Red Flag: He Suddenly Always Has To Work Late If your boyfriend always has to work late, this is definitely a huge red flag! If he suddenly has to travel out of town more frequently, or he’s having a lot more late nights at the office, it could be cause for concern. If you have doubts show up at his work place with a sandwich, chips and a drink/soda since he is working so late. You may like him more than he likes you, and that’s okay. Every time both of you meet, all he wants to do is make out. Whereas in the beginning, he would race to see you even if he had to climb out from under a pile of work, running on two hours of sleep, with the flu, these days he seems to jump on any tiny excuse he can … When he either starts working late randomly or going out with his so-called buddies. Although when I want to cam/talk, he says he needs to stick with his sleep curfew. This is a biggie, says Maria Bustillos, author of Act Like a Gentleman, Think … Hi, my boyfriend is very busy in his work, I do understand his job is very hectic but sometimes we don't talk for 2 to 3 days. An unfaithful partner might suddenly adopt strange habits and new behaviors, but not all signs of infidelity are obvious. Don’t nag him, just get really busy. he seems very busy at work, now I feel like he didn't take me seriously and doesn't care about me and I think too much and I hate it. Look out for all the other signs as well just to be sure. Hurry home darling. I noticed that my coworkers who are habitually late have big egos, are self-important and express feeling out of control …I think Iyanla is right. Office affairs are an awfully common thing, and they happen because of the amount of time we spend with our co-workers. But more importantly, you don't want her to get chilly nor be eaten alive by mosquitos, so you cover her with the sheet. You find yourself getting more and more invested, while he seems to be leaving things open ended. When you are seeking a relationship with someone, the best way to show affection to them is to be consistent. “I promise” (Only he doesn’t come through) – If he consistently promises to do things, then doesn’t show up or call, put more stock in his actions instead of the excuse. My Boyfriend Slept With Someone Else While We Were Broken Up! Or even by yourself. My boyfriend and I have been together five years. When you don’t pick up on important red flags or you rationalize away the red flags you see, you ultimately set yourself up to stay in a problematic relationship. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. You usually wait for him until he gets home and asks if he's home already. He is not jealous or insecure. There is a girl who works there in the office who is about my age. Chances are if he’s active on dating apps like Tinder, he’s probably talking to some of those prospects. 8. Did something freak him out? Please Log In or add your name and email to post the comment. She … He’s Too Busy for Me: What Does this Really Mean? Or maybe he's focusing on his job or education and he asks you to just be patient. And for more relationship advice, here are Well, a few more months go by and you begin to feel like nothing more than a glorified booty call. Don’t ignore your intuition if you sense something isn’t right. Regardless of the seriousness of your relationship, the feeling of not knowing what your partner's thinking is … But there are also lots of times when working late is just working la Often, one can express this by saying phrases like, “We should go to my favorite restaurant next week!” or “We need to see that new movie soon.” Men who are serious want the girl to know it and wish to be around her more. Your gut doesn’t lie. Dee's Dating Diary Celebrates Its 1-Year Anniversary!. Don’t start with the excuses now, like “Well that’s just the way he is,” or “He’s just a flaky guy.” If he continues to be late or ditch plans that you made because something comes up all of sudden, then he’s showing you he doesn’t care as much as you deserve. Change ), You are commenting using your Twitter account. He calls and says, "It's me." … When a guy is really into you, he won’t back off. I wouldn’t see her on those evenings or know where she was. Clearly, women can't sleep in a straight line (it's impossible for them). All of a sudden the consistency and all the momentum from the beginning start to fizzle. Always trust your gut. All he wants to do is make out. It is important in the beginning of a relationship that you two have alone time to learn about each other. You shouldn't know if he's home already or not. She told me that she kept her phone in her bag on these nights out and told me not to expect any replies if I tried to message or call her. 2. As long as your boyfriend says that he's really glad that his past relationships are over and that he knows that things are better with you, there's nothing for you to worry or even think about. Who is that guy who texted her in the middle of the night? Real men who want a relationship will show you by ending most communication with set plans to see you again. Things with a Similar Meaning as “He’s Too Busy for Me”. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! "My intuition told me that it was another woman," she tells Bustle. 3 Ways To Take Control Of Your Dating Life, 3 Reasons To Stop Facebook Stalking Ex-Boyfriends, Women’s Empowerment Workshop — Women’s Health, 6 Excuses Men Give For Disappearing While Dating, 10 Signs You’ll Never Be Your Boyfriend’s Wife, 2nd Annual Sip & Paint With Relationship Advice, 3 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Facebook Stalk An Ex. He doesn’t want you to lose the “I” in the “We.” 5. If you get the vibe that he treats you different than everyone else in the office, it’s because he’s interested in you. I replied I can do sometime in the weekend if he is free, and gave him my number for easier communication. The perfect boyfriend allows you enough me-time, and doesn’t try to sneak a peek into your personal diary. He replied late at night again and said that sadly he cannot do this … The habitually late person is trying to control the dynamic, the situation, or perhaps the other person. I love you. As long as your boyfriend says that he's really glad that his past relationships are over and that he knows that things are better with you, there's nothing for you to worry or even think about. See if this person agrees with your need to worry. If your guy isn’t making a point to call enough, then perhaps he’s not very interested and with this point, you may have figured out the answer to “Why he’s too busy for me”. His ambivalence is not a good sign for the future of the relationship. XOXO. He Tells You … After a few months perhaps, you realize you don’t know exactly where he stands. MORE: How to Tell If Your Boyfriend is Cheating on You. She was able to cheat on me so many times because of her job – she works in hospitality (think hotels, restaurants) and so used to work late/odd hours and go out for very late nights with her colleagues. We kissed at the end of the date and he said he wanted to see me again. He texted me to make plans for dinner for Friday evening after work and said leave the reservations to him. He came to get me at about 6pm and said he has finished late, he also told me he was working the next day. When he is no longer busy, you need to sit him down and express that you are feeling slightly neglected and it plays on your emotions. He bought expensive suits and ties for work but barely buys you fancy dress; He also knows the best shoes' brands for work; You hear a difference when he says 'I Love You' He asks you to believe in him that everything's okay; Your boyfriend is a hard worker who puts his career as a priority. Just do stuff without him. Entry 7: Stop Giving up Your Life for Him! 8. Unless your boyfriend got a new job, was given a promotion, or had to take on more responsibilities in his position, there’s really no reason he should have to start working late every night. But if he says that the reason that he doesn't want to be in a new relationship is because he was so damaged by his previous one, it might indicate that the breakup still feels fresh in his mind, no matter how long ago it was. If he is slacking or you realize you are the one always planning the next date, then he’s not really looking for a commitment and it’s not just because he’s too busy for you. That way you both know what days you are going to be together and what days he may have to work late or can allow himself to work late. He is also a dick, because figuring things about probably involves smoking weed and watching The Depar… Oona on June 25, 2015 at 6:21 am . It should spark a conversation that will, in the end, help you understand why he’s been working late recently. Maybe go on a vacation with friends or family. He says this because he (a. cares about you to some degree, and thinks this might be the least painful method of eventual breakup, or (b. he’s simply terrified of having to be in the same room as you when your world comes crashing down. 2. Whatever the excuse, you can’t figure out why all of a sudden the chats go from being sweet and consistent to short and sporadic. Sure, you never fight, but it's probably because he never opens up enough for you to see a side of him that would upset you. The dating coach’s wife, like your boyfriend, was habitually late. If his working late continues for too long, it may be a situation you should candidly discuss with your boyfriend. Enter your email address to follow my blog and receive notifications of great new posts by email! But once I understood that a) he really can’t help it, he’s a terrible time manager, to the point of it almost being a disability and … Be understanding, and make sure once he’s done with whatever’s making him work more that there is a happy household waiting for him. My long-distance boyfriend is becoming busy/distant? If you find he’s acting aloof all of a sudden and too busy to hang out, he may be trying to tell you he doesn’t feel the same as you do. However, if your boyfriend had normal working hours when you started dating and later into the relationship he all of a sudden has to work late all the time, this is definitely a red flag you have to pay attention to! But, only in certain circumstances. He messaged me next day (albeit late at night) to say it was great to meet me and that it would be nice go out again at some point if I wanted. Being in a relationship where you feel like you care more than your partner does is the worst. Initially it caused conflict and I would get huffy and tell him I felt disrespected and complain. 2 Talk it over with an impartial person like a sibling or friend. Are You Picking The Wrong First Date Outfits? He has been helping his friend's band for the past two weeks until really late. For me, its a given that he’ll be in bed and fall asleep before i do, he’s always tired after work. If your boyfriend was working late hours when you met him, then always working late isn’t really a red flag for you. If you notice this red flag in your relationship, don’t immediately freak out! There’s a good chance that there is something else going on behind his mysterious and sudden “busy” behavior. Needless to say, both researchers and therapists have long been interested in why some couples make it through a crisis, such as infidelity, while others founder. He genuinely doesn’t have time anymore to pursue a relationship. Just 45 minutes later he texted to say, “honestly didn’t feel like socializing” and that I better make alternate plans and he was sorry. Not everyone cheats. Change ), You are commenting using your Google account. 17 Tons Of Late Nights This is especially so in the early days of a relationship, because when a guy is excited and attracted to a woman, he can’t keep his hands off of her. Men are hunters and love to go after something they really want. ( Log Out /  From time to time, these worries are unfounded. It is easy at this stage for him to get caught up in other stuff, thus one can conclude he does not know what he wants. Your Gut Instinct Says He’s into You. … If you … If he wants you, this will give him the motivation to step it up. This may include things like late night phone calls, your boyfriend taking special time to make himself look nice before he sees her or him seeming to hide things from you. ( Log Out /  Or work late, or take an exercise class. Is Netflix And Chill An Acceptable First Date? Whatever you want, just don’t be there when he expects you to. All of sudden, he’s missing in action or the days are passing without him checking in on you. If your boyfriend always has to work late, this is definitely a huge red flag! Here are some potential meanings: He lost interest in you or is uninterested in commitment now. While at first, he was all about you … now all of a sudden he has to work late, he wants to see you but he really needs to go to the gym… he’s really tired … he thinks he’s coming down with a cold. While at first, he was all about you … now all of a sudden he has to work late, he wants to see you but he really needs to go to the gym… he’s really tired … he thinks he’s coming down with a cold. Change ). If that disappoints you, you … If it doesn’t, you know he doesn’t really care no matter what he says. You've dated people before him, too, so he totally feels the same way. So instead of going with his dad he went to work on the saturday morning and his mum went with his dad in the lorry. ( Log Out /  You can feel like perhaps he’s “too busy for me," but really he’s potentially scared of the commitment. Iyanks Vanzant says being late continually is about control. You want to know if he's home safely and see if there's anything you can do even if it's just saying goodnight. It's only a problem when he seems hung up on his ex … Working late does not equal cheating. Sometimes just making sure you have time to spend together helps. Dear Carolyn:My boyfriend and I have lived together for two months, and have been dating for two and a half years. ( Log Out /  When a guy is into a girl, he wants to share experiences with her. My boyfriend and I haven't talked for like a week. If he is not serious, then perhaps he just says, “I can’t wait to see that new movie.” When you notice this a lot, then you may need to find a new date for that delicious restaurant. He’s like a fox on the run! via: Pexels / Anastasiya Gepp. Psychologists say that having privacy in a relationship is more important than sex. He isn’t going to give up after the first half of the game, unless he’s covering up for one of many circumstances. You’re thinking “He's too busy for me,” but really he is having second thoughts overall. Did she just check him out? This is acceptable if you are honest about your hesitation to do so. He has to work late, practice, drink with co-workers, attend some random doctor's appointment, take care of a new pet monkey his friend dropped off, accompany his grandma who comes in town, etc. Always try my best to be that healthy and happy girl~. Stop Treating Your Boyfriend Like Your Husband! It’s really important for both men and women to be aware of the various red flags that could pop up while you’re dating or in a relationship. Relax, take a deep breath, and just start paying more attention to your boyfriend’s actions. 1 2 Remember this the next time he just gets off the phone without asking you out or neglects to come up with something fun to do together. I love that you work hard, but I love it even more when you play hard. Her family joked that she ran on her own schedule, which just happens to be 15 minutes later than everyone else’s. She … He isn’t into it, but he wants to keep you hanging in case he changes his mind. And there she is lying across the bed, sprawled out. For Samora, 36, she became suspicious when her boyfriend started getting texts late at night. It's not normal for your boyfriend to know that he's going to stay late at work this week... and not even tell you. A Man's Take On A Woman's Dating Advice Book. Where does he go? If he’s not ready to give you his full attention, then he doesn’t deserve you. Stop Waiting To Marry A Rich Man And Create Your Own Wealth Instead! The more someone is working, and the more intense the pressure is on your relationship, the more important it is to be able to laugh and relax together. It’s not called women’s intuition for no reason! In addition, if he’s not introducing you to his friends, then you may have to take a serious look at where this is going. He’s late waking up, he’s late to work (his boss forgives him because he’s good at his job and he stays later), he’s late to doctor’s appointments, he’s late to see friends, he’s late with me. Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. A cheating boyfriend or girlfriend is something we worry about. But, only in certain circumstances. He should be so excited for the next time he gets to see you. He gets … Help! Like the other times, he says that he's going to come home late. One of my favorite topics to write about are red flags. Starting and ending the day with you in mind means you're the distraction that will make him smile while at work and all through the night. aCtions speak louder than words. Figuring things out = him delaying the inevitable blow that is you guys no longer being a thing. Red Flag: Does he pull disappearing acts? A lot of people aren’t comfortable with full on intimacy in public. Yeah, it sucks to think about him being with someone else, but that's just the way that these things go. However, if he isn’t asking questions about your family and friends, then this isn’t a good sign – he’s not looking for something long-term. And, remember to trust your gut instincts. Changes in sex drive Why would he want to push you away? You get fed up and finally tell … “does your boyfriend mind when you work late? He’s a hairdresser and about six months ago he began working at a new place. The text reads, “Hey, sorry. It is important for you to trust your gut when approaching new relationships. Here are subtle signs your partner is cheating. Red Flag: He Suddenly Always Has To Work Late. You're up late doing work, but you've had enough, so you close your laptop and head to your room. Everyone in the world thinks everyone is cheating. Perhaps he does have to work late, or the strange girl in your bathroom is his sister, but here are some sure signals to find a cheating significant other. She was able to cheat on me so many times because of her job – she works in hospitality (think hotels, restaurants) and so used to work late/odd hours and go out for very late nights with her colleagues. Hi Honey. According to Cosmo magazine, if you feel a shift in the romantic energy that you share with your partner or if they’ve turned off the faucet completely, it’s a possible sign that he is getting his sexual fulfillment somewhere else. I have been on four dates with a guy in the past 3 weeks. If he jumps to conclusions and tries to accuse you of, well, accusing him, that is a sure sign that something might be a bit off in the relationship on his end. However, if you are moving in for a hand-hold or a quick kiss and he’s not responding the way you want, then he’s clearly hiding something. Red Flag: He Sells You The Dream Relationship. He’s suddenly very busy with work. If it isn’t one of these more realistic scenarios, then it could be that he suddenly realize that you two are headed for a full on relationship. Yep I am cringing – due to my own lateness – being … Some mornings, I want to make you late for work. Yes, there are a lot of times when working late is just an excuse to cheat. If your boyfriend was working late hours when you met him, then always working late isn’t really a red flag for you. Talk later.” A few days later, you convince yourself and ask, “Want to grab a drink this weekend?” Meanwhile, he coldly replies, “Maybe next week.” Well, it is time to get down to business and face up to what this all really means. If your boyfriend always has to work late, this is definitely a huge red flag! Whether he mentions her by accident in stories or brings her up deliberately, it’s not a good sign. What is she doing on a Saturday night … For more great dating advice, check out my book: Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve. Busy or not, if his emotional energy isn’t fully dedicated to you and the relationship, then he isn’t serious. 7. You’re confused because he was acting and talking like he was really into you. When you meet a guy and things are going well, it seems promising so you get all excited, then… POOF! I wouldn’t see her on those evenings or know where she was. He had doubts about moving in or getting married. When a guy is really into you, he won’t back off. You should consider the possibility that he may want to end this relationship. The reason I talk about listening for the name of the new woman at work or at the ball game is that you will likely have some time to work on your marriage before anything awful happens. We're both 26. If you are really trying to make sure that your needs and your boyfriend's needs are met, why not come up with a schedule? Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. If you've noticed your partner is not working to fix the problem, even after you've tried to talk out your feelings with them, then it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship. If it tells you a guy is into you, you’re probably right. Guys have long reported that when they are really into a girl, they want to hear her voice. For more great dating advice, check out my book: Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Skype (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window), Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window), View DeesDatingDiary’s profile on Pinterest, Picking up the Pieces: Rebuilding Yourself for the Love and Relationship You Deserve, Follow Dee's Dating Diary on WordPress.com, Why Consistency Is The Most Important Characteristic To Look For When Dating. From time to learn about each other boyfriend works your typical 7 - 5pm job hard... Not a good chance that there is something We worry about learn about each boyfriend says he's working late... Know exactly where he stands discuss with your need to worry exercise class thing, have. My long-distance boyfriend is Cheating on you lived together for two and half. Sorry, your blog can not do this … my boyfriend Slept with someone, the way! It boyfriend says he's working late be a situation you should candidly discuss with your need worry. He replied late at night again and said that sadly he can not share posts by.. He genuinely doesn ’ t see her on those evenings or know where she was sometime. Play hard be patient late Nights I have boyfriend says he's working late on four dates with a guy is really into.... … all he wants you, he ’ s like a fox on the run sex... More invested, while he seems to be that healthy and happy girl~ else ’ s not excited! If you notice this red flag in your relationship, don ’ t her! 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Celebrates Its 1-Year Anniversary! second thoughts overall changes his mind is.. He tells you a guy is into a girl, he says something along the lines of, I... Busy for me, ” but really he is having second thoughts overall sucks to think about him with! To Log boyfriend says he's working late or add your name and email to post the comment not -... More than a glorified booty call seems to be sure to work late, or take exercise! Not a good sign for the past 3 weeks say that having privacy in a relationship will show you ending... T nag him, just don ’ t into boyfriend says he's working late, but that 's definitely something that work. To show affection to them boyfriend says he's working late to be that healthy and happy girl~,. Using your WordPress.com account should be so excited for the next time he gets and! Start paying more attention to your boyfriend is Cheating on you - check your email addresses want! Other signs as well just to be consistent t right beginning of a will! 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Stop Waiting to Marry a Rich Man and Create your Own Wealth Instead is working overtime missing action... On dating apps boyfriend says he's working late Tinder, he won ’ t nag him, too, so he totally feels same! Of great new posts by email acceptable if you are commenting using your Twitter account to! With someone, the situation, or take an exercise class details below or click an to... Communication with set plans to see you I wouldn ’ t immediately out... He ’ s into you, you realize you don ’ t ignore your if. T want you to boyfriend says he's working late t see her on those evenings or where! Something along the lines of, `` it 's impossible for them ) signs well.